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Monday, October 27, 2014
Life, death, love, and moving on.
This post is harder than I thought it was going to be. I have written and deleted multiple sentences. Again and again. This is going to be somewhat stream of consciousness and likely if you are reading you won't see a point or you may not follow, but this is the best I can put out at the moment.
It's always tough to say goodbye to people but it's even tougher when you don't know what happened to your loved ones. It's also super tough when you lose a loved one whose life ended early. What defines an early ending to life though? It's all relative. I just feel like there is so much more that could have been done by these people. What happens after death? It's a timeless question that some people claim to know the answer to. I don't see how anybody that is living could possibly know the answer. There are many hypotheses but there is no way to test them out.
I'm not entirely sure why I felt the need to write this, it's just making me think of awesome people who aren't in my life anymore. The memories live on but no new memories can be made with these people. It could be a nice thought that maybe they are serving others well in someway after the time they spent here. I know that everybody has a lasting effect to others. At least they do to me. I don't want to make this post negative by any means. I miss you people.
My first experience with death was at way too young of an age. And she was even younger than us. Jenny was 5 years old. I think it was a bee sting. I was in school and on swim team with her brother, Dutch. We were in 4th or 5th grade I think. I will never get that image out of my mind. That tiny little innocent girl in a coffin. My friends were carrying or perhaps pushing the coffin. It was so sad. I decided on that day that I was never going to a funeral again. I have since been to a funeral. Jimmy's funeral. That was a hard goodbye. We have stickers that say "I RIDE FOR JIMMY." I am going to put one on my new snowboard. That's why I want to learn a back flip on my board. Jimmy loved backflips (on his skis). What a guy.
One of the nice things about death is that it brings people together. That may sound kind of crude but it's true. And it's not meant to be crude. It's a positive that comes from the negative.
I never knew Hannah but I was blessed with the privilege of getting to know her entire family. I dated Tully and became best friends with his best friend Jake. Jake is Hannah's brother. My family never did family dinner, I can remember a few but not many. My dad used to work all the time and he was always traveling. I wasn't very happy about that. I understand now but at the same time it was hard. I'm lucky to have two loving parents that are still together gosh I don't even know how many years later...maybe 35? Maybe more? Well anyways...I had dinner with the Dodd family more often than not. Hannah passed away on a motorcycle ride when she was still in high school. I won't ever ride one. Too dangerous. I take enough risks as it is. I never got to meet Hannah but I got to feel her presence. Some people (ok kind of a lot of people) told me that I was a lot like Hannah. It felt like an honor to hear but I always wanted to meet her. I never will be so fortunate. I miss the Dodds. Everybody.
I'm blessed to have met so many awesome people throughout my life.
When Jimmy passed away it brought a lot of us together. Physically and emotionally. Katie and I became closer. I reconnected with Joe. Struebs was really there for me. I maybe never would have met Ryan since he lives in Alaska. I got to meet Jimmy's parents and sister and they are super rad. Seriously amazing. We got the crew back together. Without Jimmy. But Jimmy was there. That was my first funeral in my adult life. It was hard but it helped us all.
I haven't even gotten to Aubrey or Margo (or a bunch of others). They were both seriously my best friends. Those are the most complicated. Unanswered questions in my head with these two ladies. Answers that may never come to me.
Aubrey is missing. She went missing in Nepal on April 22, 2010. That's a long time ago. Here's a link to the search page: MakeLove2Life. That's how I got my glitter nickname. Aubrey was on a mission to glitter the world with her love, and that's what she did every day. I don't even like to think of the options of what may have happened to her but we have hope. If you go to Greeley (where she is from) you can see what I call The Glitter Tree -- it's a tree full of ribbons and other awesomeness and we (the people who love her -- some strangers, some family, some friends) contribute to it to make it glitter. I met my glitter sister Rachel because of Aubrey. It was a magic moment at a Pretty Lights concert.
Margo. Seriously she was my go-to girl. She's the only friend I have ever had in my life that has called my mother "mom." Her mom is my mom too now. Not legally but for love's sake. Margo was found dead in her apartment when I was a sophomore in college. I remember the day so very clearly. I lived with 9 other people and nobody was home. Traci told me via Facebook. We are friends now but I didn't know her (Traci) at the time and I thought it was a sick joke. Anyways, I've relived this day too many times in my mind and I am not going to do it again. I remember being so angry with the birds for chirping. I was a wreck. For quite some time. The death was marked as a suicide but I don't even kind of buy that. She was a ray of sunshine when she walked in to the room. Not going any further with that topic in such a public environment.
I feel like I have simply touched on the tip of the iceberg.
Every time I toast a drink, I drink one for all of the dead (and missing) homies. I cheers the other person and then I hit my drink on my table as if doing another cheers motion. Here are the people that I cheers for every time I drink. I'm sure I have missed some people as my list has gotten pretty long.
Jenny Collver.
Rebecca Lynn Steinback.
Uncle Steve.
Grandpop.
Kathryn Kennedy Cox.
Margaret "Margo" Ann White.
Karen Smithson.
Aubrey Sacco.
Chris "Pez"Leskowski.
Chelone Miller.
Jimmy Gardner.
Stuart Gallaway.
Kory Wyatt.
Whelp. I meed sleep. To bed I go.
This lady is full of love!! Plenty of love to share with you all!
XOXOX Summer Glitter <3
It's always tough to say goodbye to people but it's even tougher when you don't know what happened to your loved ones. It's also super tough when you lose a loved one whose life ended early. What defines an early ending to life though? It's all relative. I just feel like there is so much more that could have been done by these people. What happens after death? It's a timeless question that some people claim to know the answer to. I don't see how anybody that is living could possibly know the answer. There are many hypotheses but there is no way to test them out.
I'm not entirely sure why I felt the need to write this, it's just making me think of awesome people who aren't in my life anymore. The memories live on but no new memories can be made with these people. It could be a nice thought that maybe they are serving others well in someway after the time they spent here. I know that everybody has a lasting effect to others. At least they do to me. I don't want to make this post negative by any means. I miss you people.
My first experience with death was at way too young of an age. And she was even younger than us. Jenny was 5 years old. I think it was a bee sting. I was in school and on swim team with her brother, Dutch. We were in 4th or 5th grade I think. I will never get that image out of my mind. That tiny little innocent girl in a coffin. My friends were carrying or perhaps pushing the coffin. It was so sad. I decided on that day that I was never going to a funeral again. I have since been to a funeral. Jimmy's funeral. That was a hard goodbye. We have stickers that say "I RIDE FOR JIMMY." I am going to put one on my new snowboard. That's why I want to learn a back flip on my board. Jimmy loved backflips (on his skis). What a guy.
One of the nice things about death is that it brings people together. That may sound kind of crude but it's true. And it's not meant to be crude. It's a positive that comes from the negative.
I never knew Hannah but I was blessed with the privilege of getting to know her entire family. I dated Tully and became best friends with his best friend Jake. Jake is Hannah's brother. My family never did family dinner, I can remember a few but not many. My dad used to work all the time and he was always traveling. I wasn't very happy about that. I understand now but at the same time it was hard. I'm lucky to have two loving parents that are still together gosh I don't even know how many years later...maybe 35? Maybe more? Well anyways...I had dinner with the Dodd family more often than not. Hannah passed away on a motorcycle ride when she was still in high school. I won't ever ride one. Too dangerous. I take enough risks as it is. I never got to meet Hannah but I got to feel her presence. Some people (ok kind of a lot of people) told me that I was a lot like Hannah. It felt like an honor to hear but I always wanted to meet her. I never will be so fortunate. I miss the Dodds. Everybody.
I'm blessed to have met so many awesome people throughout my life.
When Jimmy passed away it brought a lot of us together. Physically and emotionally. Katie and I became closer. I reconnected with Joe. Struebs was really there for me. I maybe never would have met Ryan since he lives in Alaska. I got to meet Jimmy's parents and sister and they are super rad. Seriously amazing. We got the crew back together. Without Jimmy. But Jimmy was there. That was my first funeral in my adult life. It was hard but it helped us all.
I haven't even gotten to Aubrey or Margo (or a bunch of others). They were both seriously my best friends. Those are the most complicated. Unanswered questions in my head with these two ladies. Answers that may never come to me.
Aubrey is missing. She went missing in Nepal on April 22, 2010. That's a long time ago. Here's a link to the search page: MakeLove2Life. That's how I got my glitter nickname. Aubrey was on a mission to glitter the world with her love, and that's what she did every day. I don't even like to think of the options of what may have happened to her but we have hope. If you go to Greeley (where she is from) you can see what I call The Glitter Tree -- it's a tree full of ribbons and other awesomeness and we (the people who love her -- some strangers, some family, some friends) contribute to it to make it glitter. I met my glitter sister Rachel because of Aubrey. It was a magic moment at a Pretty Lights concert.
Margo. Seriously she was my go-to girl. She's the only friend I have ever had in my life that has called my mother "mom." Her mom is my mom too now. Not legally but for love's sake. Margo was found dead in her apartment when I was a sophomore in college. I remember the day so very clearly. I lived with 9 other people and nobody was home. Traci told me via Facebook. We are friends now but I didn't know her (Traci) at the time and I thought it was a sick joke. Anyways, I've relived this day too many times in my mind and I am not going to do it again. I remember being so angry with the birds for chirping. I was a wreck. For quite some time. The death was marked as a suicide but I don't even kind of buy that. She was a ray of sunshine when she walked in to the room. Not going any further with that topic in such a public environment.
I feel like I have simply touched on the tip of the iceberg.
Every time I toast a drink, I drink one for all of the dead (and missing) homies. I cheers the other person and then I hit my drink on my table as if doing another cheers motion. Here are the people that I cheers for every time I drink. I'm sure I have missed some people as my list has gotten pretty long.
Jenny Collver.
Rebecca Lynn Steinback.
Uncle Steve.
Grandpop.
Kathryn Kennedy Cox.
Margaret "Margo" Ann White.
Karen Smithson.
Aubrey Sacco.
Chris "Pez"Leskowski.
Chelone Miller.
Jimmy Gardner.
Stuart Gallaway.
Kory Wyatt.
Whelp. I meed sleep. To bed I go.
This lady is full of love!! Plenty of love to share with you all!
XOXOX Summer Glitter <3
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Welcome to my life...
I keep telling myself that I am going to write more and I keep putting it off. It seems that I have creative inspiration when I am working out, driving, or when I am in bed. I was about to go to sleep but I decided that there's no better time than now to get back to writing and blogging. There are two things in the past 24 hours that I have really wanted to share so hopefully I can get through both of them before I fall asleep...It's pretty late and I was almost asleep but I felt the need to write. Now I am opening myself up to you (the public) as a person on a deeper level than just a snowboarder. Hopefully you like what you read. Whether it inspires you to be a better person, helps you to understand that you aren' alone, whatever it is...I want to show you my thoughts and my feelings and share who I really am on a whole different level. I am going to aim for 3 updates a week and I would love some comments from people I know and from people whom I have yet to cross paths with. Enjoy :)
First off, an update on my living situation...I live in Avon, Colorado. I live a walk away from the lifts to Beaver Creek. I live on a lake. I live in paradise. I am blessed with so many awesome things and for that I am grateful. I am happy pretty much all the time and I want to share my happiness with the world!
Since the first week of college I have been very interested in astronomy. I needed to pick a science class and I somewhat randomly chose astronomy. I am so glad that I chose astronomy because I fell in love. I also met some of my closest friends in that class. The stars, the moons, the planets, black holes, it's all so fascinating!!
I work many jobs and I love all of them, but one of them is that I work for Fiske Planetarium in Boulder, CO. I have been working there since February of 2007. I do it because I love science (particularly) and I love kids.
I got really excited about the Orionid meteor shower that was visible last night. I thought maybe I could share the experience with a friend or two but as it turned out, it was a solo adventure. I actually almost gave up on seeing anything as there was a ton of cloud cover. I decided to go home and as I was getting in my car I looked up to be surprised by a sky full of stars! Only 5 minutes prior I could only see 2 stars and then I was surprised by a sky full of magic! Since Orion (and the portion of the sky where the meteors were more prominent) was on the horizon I decided to drive up the mountain. I drove up in to an area where I really feel at home and relaxed more than many other places, I drove to Bachelor's Gulch. I parked my car away from all light sources, I threw on my down jacket, and I got out of my car. I immediately saw a meteor entering Earth's atmosphere. I was pumped. It was like I was meditating with myself, with the Earth, with the skies. I haven't felt such a magical experience in a very long time. Every star I looked at was twinkling. There was obviously a ton of turbulence in the atmosphere because it looked like a scene from a movie, all of the stars were twinkling bright! I didn't see as many meteors as I had hoped to but the experience I had was more magical than I could have ever foreseen. There was heat lightening all around that was lighting up the sky and I felt so lucky to be where I was at that very moment. I am so grateful for the amazing experiences I have every day and for all of the people in my life. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and that every person in my life is in my life for a purpose. I am blessed to know each and every person in my life! Thank you, universe. Thank you for being there for me and showing me amazing things, places, and people!
This is where I am going to leave off today and tomorrow I will be writing about the changes in my life professionally and the struggle of losing ones that I love. I remain happy in every situation that it is possible and I look to the future with hope, love, strength, and compassion for myself and others.
Love to everybody,
XOXOX Summer Glitter <3
First off, an update on my living situation...I live in Avon, Colorado. I live a walk away from the lifts to Beaver Creek. I live on a lake. I live in paradise. I am blessed with so many awesome things and for that I am grateful. I am happy pretty much all the time and I want to share my happiness with the world!
Since the first week of college I have been very interested in astronomy. I needed to pick a science class and I somewhat randomly chose astronomy. I am so glad that I chose astronomy because I fell in love. I also met some of my closest friends in that class. The stars, the moons, the planets, black holes, it's all so fascinating!!
I work many jobs and I love all of them, but one of them is that I work for Fiske Planetarium in Boulder, CO. I have been working there since February of 2007. I do it because I love science (particularly) and I love kids.
I got really excited about the Orionid meteor shower that was visible last night. I thought maybe I could share the experience with a friend or two but as it turned out, it was a solo adventure. I actually almost gave up on seeing anything as there was a ton of cloud cover. I decided to go home and as I was getting in my car I looked up to be surprised by a sky full of stars! Only 5 minutes prior I could only see 2 stars and then I was surprised by a sky full of magic! Since Orion (and the portion of the sky where the meteors were more prominent) was on the horizon I decided to drive up the mountain. I drove up in to an area where I really feel at home and relaxed more than many other places, I drove to Bachelor's Gulch. I parked my car away from all light sources, I threw on my down jacket, and I got out of my car. I immediately saw a meteor entering Earth's atmosphere. I was pumped. It was like I was meditating with myself, with the Earth, with the skies. I haven't felt such a magical experience in a very long time. Every star I looked at was twinkling. There was obviously a ton of turbulence in the atmosphere because it looked like a scene from a movie, all of the stars were twinkling bright! I didn't see as many meteors as I had hoped to but the experience I had was more magical than I could have ever foreseen. There was heat lightening all around that was lighting up the sky and I felt so lucky to be where I was at that very moment. I am so grateful for the amazing experiences I have every day and for all of the people in my life. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and that every person in my life is in my life for a purpose. I am blessed to know each and every person in my life! Thank you, universe. Thank you for being there for me and showing me amazing things, places, and people!
This is where I am going to leave off today and tomorrow I will be writing about the changes in my life professionally and the struggle of losing ones that I love. I remain happy in every situation that it is possible and I look to the future with hope, love, strength, and compassion for myself and others.
Love to everybody,
XOXOX Summer Glitter <3
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